In a traditional African weddings the bride and groom’s families play a central role. Since marriage operates more as a union of families (a theme that resonates in many African and Asian cultures), parent’s opinions are heavily weighed. This instigates a lapse of time between the proposal and its acceptance. However, there is no time wasted once the groom receives approval to wed his bride. This is why the engagement and wedding ceremony are “one and the same.”
The Proposal: Marriage chatter amongst the bride’s family begins when the groom initiates the knocking on the door ceremony or “Kokooko.” This ceremony can be summarized by the three “p’s”: prayer, permission, and proposal. Accompanied by his father and other elder family members, the groom travels to the bride’s home. He brings gifts of liquor that are used for libations, prayer, to their ancestors and God. After, a representative for the groom is granted permission to state the intention of their visit; he announces the groom’s marriage proposal. Occasionally if little knowledge of the groom is known they will ask him back for what can be compared to: an interview. The bride’s family then prepares a “bride piece,” or list of gifts that the groom must provide as a testimony of his ability to take care of their daughter.
The Wedding Ceremony/Engagement: Fashioned in a grand boubou or dashiki,Khanga, the groom returns to the bride’s home with the detailed gifts and knocking fee or “dowry.” Upon the opening prayers, the bride and groom’s wedding guests are seated on opposite sides of the room facing one another. An elder is selected as the master of ceremony who assists with the introduction and presentation of the gifts to the bride’s family. Even though the bride is absent for these initial exchanges, she will give the last consent to the marriage. Once the family has accepted, the bride enters the space in a beautified two-piece outfit with a headpiece designed to compliment her skirt and buba. The father of the bride asks the bride three times if she agrees to marring this groom. After repeating yes, the groom then slides the wedding ring on her finger. He kisses and embraces her with affection. The ceremony continues with elders presenting the newlyweds with gifts such as a bible and a tidbit of knowledge. Modern day trends have inspired the church ceremony that occurs approximately a week after the traditional wedding ceremony (described above).
The Reception: What has stood the test of time is the huge celebration after the wedding ceremony. Everything contributes to the energetic rhythm of the party, beginning with the never ending guest list. A formal invitation is not a necessity, for it is extremely common for a guest to hear about the wedding through word of mouth. From the guests to the bridal party, everyone is robbed in vibrant colors. Even though Aso-oke,khanga and Adinkra,kitenge are familiar cloths to wear, the most popular fabric chosen is kente in Ghana,khanga and Kitenge in Tanzania. Additionally, a standard practice involves catering the event with chicken and goat – popular meats dishes served at celebrations. Great volumes of praise and worship combined with speeches and dancing to drum based music circulates until the reception reaches its end.
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